Crafting a Bachelor Pad - 5 plants that live with less maintenance than you.

Gents - Lets talk plants.

Your bachelor pad - shouldn’t be just a place to crash, and filled with places to hide your dirty socks. It should however be a place where you can live comfortably, with enough of “you” to feel like “home”. Personally, my place is about 70/30. Aesthetics are important (after all, the goal is to not be in a “bachelor” pad forever, right? maybe not…) , but don’t live in a place that doesn’t feel like it belongs to you.

So keeping in tune with making a place yours, I’m giving you 5 tried (I’ve got several of them myself) and true little plant friends to keep around your bachelor pad, that do double duty in making your place look good, but also do a bit of cleaning to the air permeating your place. Clean air is good air. Bonus - they show potential “visitors” that you might be able to keep something alive besides yourself. That’s always a good look.

ZZ Top, doing its thing. I name my plants. Shut up.

ZZ Top, doing its thing. I name my plants. Shut up.

  1. The SNAKE PLANT. These things are called snake plants for crying out loud, also known as “mother in laws tongue”… (long, pointed, green… I can see it.) What’s more manly than a snake plant? Anyway, these guys are basically indestructible. They don’t like direct light. In fact - they’ll grow ok in low light. I almost cooked my first one by having it near a window that got about 4 hours of sunlight. It’s now in my bedroom where it gets no real direct light, and is growing like crazy. But here’s the kicker. These things like it dry. Check the soil before hand, if it’s not dry as a bone, it doesn’t need water yet. Travel for work? no worries. Going on vacation? no worries. It’ll still be doing its thing a few weeks later.

  2. The ZZ plant, or ZanZibar Gem. I got this guy a few weeks ago. It’s basically on par with the snake plant, doesn’t need direct light, likes to dry out between waterings, and is basically indestructible. They’ve got a crazy root system that looks like a bunch of potatoes. Shoots up here and there with new branches, leaves, and overall niftyness. Also like the snake plant, these suckers will get big. They’ve been known to crack the pot you’ve got them planted in building out that wicked root system. If it’s starting to look too big for the pot, it may be. Be on the look out for a cool new pot, and relegate the old one to a new plant.

  3. The IRON PLANT. Let’s be honest, as a bachelor (especially a newcomer to the game) there is an above average chance that you may not own an “iron” - you know, that thing that flattens the wrinkles out of your clothes? If that’s true, this next plant still isn’t going to help you (nor do I recommend using it to do so), but hey, at least you can say, “I own an iron”. As one of the most resilient plants out there (hence the true meaning of the name), the iron plant can very well be the perfect bachelor pad addition. Withstanding neglect, relatively low light requirements, and minimal watering obligations make this plant easy maintenance for bachelor pad decoration. It may be a slow grower, but don’t worry, its large, vividly green, paddle shaped leaves will allow it to reach sizes of around 60 cm high and 90 cm wide. Since you can’t use it to iron your clothes, maybe use it to cover up that cracked baseboard on the wall.

  4. The GARDEN MUM. Let’s face it, even as a bachelor, you’re never told old to be a Momma’s boy (or maybe Mumma’s boy?), although this isn’t something I would recommend publicly announcing. Nevertheless, if you are looking for that mum connection, try adding a garden mum to your bachelor pad plant collection.  With their pretty, decorative pompon appearance, and assorted color varieties, the garden mum can help add that missing piece to brighten up your place! Having a garden mum is going to require a little bit more work (but hey, pleasing your “Mum” always is), so be prepared to make sure it receives ample light (during the day), regular watering, and good air circulation. If you haven’t earned your green thumb yet, don’t worry, while taking care of your mum can be a bit tedious, it is usually a short lived project - since after flowering for 3 to 4 weeks, indoor conditions are not ideal for them to re-bloom. After your mum is done flowering, it is best to simply compost the plant and replace it with another, but don’t feel too bad, unlike the real thing, mums are relatively inexpensive and easy to find. 

  5. The JADE PLANT. While the last plant on our list isn’t the most appealing and doesn’t have the coolest name, we have chosen it for one specific reason - but more on that in a second. With their thick, woody stems, and dark green, oval shaped leaves, the jade plant has a slight resemblance to a miniature tree - making it a good choice for a decorative bachelor pad plant. Since they are relatively small and easy on the eyes, jade plants can be the perfect addition to that barren inner window sill (with that old coffee ring stain on it). With a little care and effort, making sure it receives direct sunlight and enough water to keep the soil moist, the jade plant can easily live for a very long time. So why did we choose to include the jade plant as the last plant on our list? Well, as fate would have it, in addition to their relatively easy maintenance and longevity, jade plants are also considered to be a good luck charm for you home. As a bachelor, it's probably not a bad idea to have all the luck you can get, if you know what I mean…

There you have it gents, 5 fairly low maintenance plants to “spruce” up your living space, and more puns than a dad joke convention. We’re all about added value at C.F. Maidlow. The best part of these guys, is they’re not anything too uncommon, most of your local big box stores probably have 1 or 2 in the plant section, my local greenhouse has all 5, and was totally willing to transplant the plants in to the pots i purchased, for an extra dollar. Uhh. Yes, please.

Russell MaidlowComment